Time to document the history of my eyeballs.
Supposedly, my eyes were straight and aligned (and I did not have strabismus) when I was born, but they were the wrong shape (astigmatism), which made things blurry. My right eye was and always has been blurrier than my left (my distance prescription is 3.50 in the left eye and 5.00 in the right). Because my left eye was better, I always chose to fixate, or see through, that eye. Naturally I Never bothered to look through the right eye, so it never developed fully and was ignored. Then, it decided to drift in. If for some reason my brain ever tried to look through both eyes at the same time, I would not see in 3-D like everyone else, but I would see double because my eyes were not aligned. My brain then decided to ignore the image from my right eye completely so as to avoid double vision.
This all happened when I was about 4 or younger I suppose. Then, I had strabismus surgery with Dr. Rosenbaum, where he would tighten certain muscles attached to my eyes and loosen others, and they would be straight again. I was probably only 7 years old when I had the surgery. Anyways, he did an excellent job and my eyes were aligned, but the results were ephemeral. After a couple years, I developed intermittent strabismus, so my right eye only crossed in sometimes. Eventually, the strabismus was constant, but varied so sometimes my eyes looked straight and other times one was obviously crossing in. Why did this happen? It is because my brain was already trained to suppress the image from my right eye. It shouldn't have ignored this image though, because after the surgery, looking with 2 eyes would mean 3-D vision, not double vision.
During high school, I became annoyed with the fact that I didn't make use of my right eye. I began fixating with my right (non dominant) eye when I read and ran. At first, reading with my non-dominant eye was very difficult. I would constantly lose my spot on the page and sometimes would get headaches. But my eye grew strong after a while, and after consistently using it for a few hours then I noticed that I could un-suppress the image from my right eye while I was fixating with my left eye! For example, I could look at a pencil in front of me and choose to see double while fixating with my left eye. Before, I could only see double by forcing myself to fixate or with my right eye, since my left/dominant eye couldn't be suppressed.
I was trying particularly hard to make sure my right eye wasn't being ignored while I looked through my left eye during the few months before my 2nd strabismus surgery with Dr. Ashish Mehta. I wanted to ensure that I kept using my right eye while I looked through the left so that when I got the surgery again, I would be using both eyes to see 3D. Turns out this worked. He only operated on my right eye and the alignment was nearly perfect (there was a slight under correction). He attached an adjustable suture, but unfortunately we were not able to use it because it would only work if there was an overcorrection. But nonetheless, my eyes were perfectly straight as far as cosmetics were concerned and I was able to see in some 3d. He held a frame of a fly and had me wear these 3D glasses and I could see the wings protruding from the frame. I was not, however, able to pass the next, more difficult 3D test which was to identify which of 4 circle was bulging out of the frame.
Anyways, after the surgery, I could no longer force myself to see double while looking through the left eye, since the image that was no longer ignored was now being combined with the left-eye image. =). However, when I looked through the right eye, I did see some double. This is supposedly because my brain never knew how to combine the images when I looked through my right eye. I have to learn how to do this first. At first I thought the double vision was due to the slight misalignment, but now I am not sure if this is entirely true. Today I have been using my new eyes for almost 4 weeks, and I am seeing much less double out of my right eye than I once did, and I hope that soon I will be able to fixate with whichever eye I'd like and never see double.
Rarely, I will see double through my left eye. It is only for a second after I first open my eyes, or quickly look at something else. I noticed that the doubled image is on the left. This means that light is hitting my right eye too far to the left, which means that the eye is turned outwards. This could be happening because both eyes are looking exactly straight ahead. They should be crossing in just a little bit so they can both be looking at the same object. (If the object is very close to your face, then they will both cross a lot, but they will still be aligned because they are looking at the same thing.) If I just concentrated for a second though, the double would go away and my eyes would behave and look at the same thing. However, when I looked through my right eye, the doubled image was still on the left, and sometimes very far to the left and even to the left and down. This would mean that my left eye is crossing inwards, but not just the right amount of inwards, but too far inwards. I was worried that even after the surgery, my left eye still crossed when I fixated with my right eye. But not to worry - this situation is improving with time.
If you are having trouble telling which way your eye is crossing and it is not visually obvious, here is how you discern: identify which eye you are fixating with. The other eye is the one giving you the doubled image. Is the doubled image (the image that is blurrier or less prominent) on the right or on the left? If it is on the left, then light is hitting the eye you are not fixating with too far to the left, which means your eye is crossing to the right. (If this eye is your right eye, it is crossing outwards. If this eye is your left eye, it is crossing inwards.) If the doubled image is on the right, the light is hitting the right side of the eye you are not fixating with, so the eye is turning to the left, which means it's crossing inwards if it's your right eye and outwards if it's your left eye.
If you want to test yourself for strabismus, this is how you do it. Look at something very specific, like the cursor on your computer screen. Then, cover up your right eye. You are now looking at the cursor with your left eye. Did you feel your eyes move? If so, you have strabismus, and just FYI, your right eye is dominant. Now, uncover your right eye and look at the cursor again. Cover up your left eye, and if you feel that your eye had to jump to find the cursor, then you have strabismus and your left eye is dominant. Before my surgery, this is how it worked for me: I look at the cursor. Cover my right eye - there is no jump because I wasn't looking at the cursor with my right eye. My left eye is dominant. Then, uncover my right eye and cover my left - whoah... where is that cursor? While my left eye was looking at the cursor, my right eye was looking out the window, and now my right eye has to find the cursor, and that is why I feel the jump.
The above test will tell you which eye is dominant if you happen to have strabismus. But if your eyes are aligned, you can cover up any eye you want and there won't be any jumping because both eyes are looking at the same thing at the same time anyways, so no eyes are going to have to go searching for what you were looking at. This test works no matter what, but it requires that you find a wiffle ball. Find a wiffle ball. Notice the holes. Look through one hole in the front, and rotate the ball so that you can see out a hole in the back. You are now looking through the wiffle ball. Once you've lined up two holes, don't move the ball. Try covering your right eye. If you can still see through the ball, then you were using your left eye to align the two holes in the ball, and your right eye is probably dominant. If you cover your left eye and you can still see through the ball, then you were using your right eye and your right eye is probably dominant. There are a thousand different ways to do this test. If you don't have a wiffle ball, try this: hold your right index finger one foot from your face and hold your left index finger two feet from your face. Now, try to hide your left index finger by holding your right index finger in front of it so that you can only see one finger. Next, close your right eye. If you see both fingers, your right eye is dominant. If you see both fingers when you close your left eye, your left eye is dominant. The test in one extended sentence is this: if your view of something does not change when you cover up an eye, that eye is not dominant and the other one is; if your view of something does change when you cover up an eye, then that eye is the dominant eye.
Dr. Mehta said he was surprised that I have any binocular vision at all. It was expected that I would be too old for my brain to learn to combine the images from both eyes since usually the best time for strabismus surgery is around 7 years old. Also, every time you have the surgery, your chances of having binocular vision decrease. So the fact that I already had the surgery was against me. Dr. Mehta said that I may have been lucky because during my infantry I did have aligned eyes, so I may have been able to develop some binocular vision then, but still I had gone a long time without aligned eyes or binocular vision. But I think I have helped sustain the results of my 2nd surgery by making use of my non-dominant eye beforehand and training my brain to not suppress any information from my eyeballs. Perhaps this is a trick others should try if they are past the age where doctors say their brains will not be able to learn to use both eyes together.
I have a reputation for not being able to catch or throw anything. I never could play baseball or football. I gave tennis a shot but wasn't any good. I discovered running have been a runner ever since. Sadly I must admit I'm not really any good at that either if you consider how long I've been doing it for, but I shall blame this on shin splints or something.
I've been playing catch with my dad every day and every day I get better. I feel like I can really see how fast the ball is coming at me, and I can see exactly where it is, even while it is falling straight out of the sky. Now it is my dream to become a professional baseball player......except maybe not.
Just because my eyes are straight though, doesn't mean I don't need glasses. I still have astigmatism/farsightedness. Dr. Mehta told me LASIKS surgery isn't good for farsightedness - the technology isn't there yet. My progressive lenses will work fine until then, but I need to get a new prescription since the surgery changes it. 6 weeks after surgery I will do this.
